Last weeks recap
1st United- 9 Balls Deep- 2
This game got ugly quick, but rumor has it 1uck was scared of the flip cup table
Free Ballers- 3 Uniballs- 0
Your normal FreeBallin Victory. Ugly!; but it’s a’ W’
Inglorious- 7 Balls to Wall- 1
This new team got pounced on after having bases loaded in the 1st with no outs;
Blue Mooners- 4 the Closers- 2
Heard it was going to be a team fight after this one
Schweddy Balls- 5 Balls of Fury- 0
After all the pre season hype, Schweddy simply kicked away from the Fury All-Pro
Wrecking Balls- 8 Kickelback-1
Yea, Kickel was excited to score 1 run, but they sure shut the bar down afterwards.
Captains Corner:
1st United Kickers:
started the season off on a great note. We got our Azalea shirts and quite honestly, they are more spectacular than we had anticipated. There was a kickball game, and using the Unified Rules of Mixed Martial Arts, 1UCK was victorious by unanimous decision with all 3 judges scoring the fight 47-45. Jen "Double D" Albert claims this week’s field MVP for springing to action after a late night/early morning at the casino to kick in 2 runs and score another one while fighting off a viscous hangover. Rookie of the Week honors go out to Christina Wolf “no nickname needed, her last name is badass on it's own” for being responsible for 6.9 of the 15 defensive outs recorded by 1UCK. Please note that number is completely made up. At the bar great things happened; 1UCK started off the bar with team Car Bombs, followed promptly by sitting down with future opponents to talk about "you know, stuff". Somehow teammates got involved in what appeared to be too much flip cup for 1 outdoor section of the bar to contain. Our Sunday pretty much rocked through and through. On the way out of the bar I ran into a good friend. At first he was "Dude, Bros don't wear Pink" I simply stated "Dude, It's not Pink, It's Azalea" to which he responded "Alright cool, listen Bro, I gotta run got a thing with this chick, but good luck with the whole kickball thing". Sunday was Legen - wait for it - dary.
Balls Deep:
Week 1 we took on 1st United CT Kickers. Despite the lame name and sissy shirt color, they apparently know how to play. We got pretty well handled through the first 3 innings. A bright spot though, was that we shuffled some people around, and played the last 2 innings very evenly matched. Our standout player for the first game was Bart Crump, who got on base each time up, scored a run, and made some nice plays in the outfield. With some adjustments next week, we look forward to getting back to our winning ways. At the bar, we looked to redeem ourselves against 1uck on the flip cup tables. They were full of excuses, so instead Balls to the Wall gladly stepped up to take us on. There was a guy running around Anna Liffey’s shouting like it was a Samuel L Jackson movie about how Balls Deep sucks. Interestingly enough, his team won't be facing us this season; Coincidence? I think not...
Uniballs:
Returning members of team Uniballs rallied before the game at Café Romeo to get caffeinated and devise a winning game plan (kick the ball really hard and run quickly). Together, we walked down to College Woods Park, with the wind blowing through our hair, and cars stopping to admire our sheer awesomeness (okay, they were stopped at traffic lights but they were soooooo looking at us). Once at the field, we welcomed our new recruits and handed out fancy purple team shirts (old team color was orange). Shout outs to season veteran Rob O., who came well prepared for the new team color with matching purple tube socks and bow tie! During our match against the Freeballers, we gave up two runs in the first and one in the second. We hit our stride on defense but could never quite put the offense together to over come the 3 run deficit, eventually falling 3-0. Despite the opening game loss, we look forward to a competitive season and our usual success in the playoffs! Game MVP goes to newcomer Bradley. He stepped right in as pitcher and did a great job on the mound and scored two key contact outs on the base paths.
Inglorious Ballstards: (via co-captain Jen B.)
You probably heard we aren’t in the prisoner-takin' business; we are in the kicking butt-in-kickball business. And cousin, business is a-boomin'. It was opening day and the anticipation had been building for weeks. After 16 practices, 24 socials, 1 birthday bash and 2 very strong pep talks, the Inglorious Ballstards were ready to play. You know how you get to Carnegie Hall, doncha? Practice! The game was intense. Each player looked at one another, unsure of where they actually were supposed to stand on the field, questioning the line up, and what to expect; but when push came to shove, they dominated the competition and really backed those Balls (up to) the Wall with a final score of 7-1. Thanks to our Captain, “Mr. President”, the pitching was solid, the base coaching was flawless and we had a couple of key plays including Adam’s home run that busted the game open and saved the day. I must say, damned good stuff, sir. Our game MVP goes to Kelly who had a 2 shot HR in the 2nd and a two “RKI’s” Double in the 5th. Next week, Wrecking Balls, be ready because we don’t take kindly to any disrespecting!
Balls to the Wall
Bases loaded in the bottom of the first and Balls to the Wall was winning 1-0, Inglorious Ballstards were scared and never should have underestimated their competition....fast forward a few hours....with one cup left to go the glorious Balls to the Wall 8 person drinking team swept the flip cup table in a 5-0 victory! Be warned the table is ours and the field will be soon!
Finals thoughts spoken from a true Balls to the Wall player:
"My life from the barroom floor" by Shabbott
On the kickball field,
Our game did yield.
Yet in the pub,
None could beat our club.
Sunday, a WAKA loss was granted,
But in flip cup they were slanted.
The veterans of the game,
Upon the drinking tables were put to shame.
My obnoxious comments caused a stir,
And the evening was quite a blur.
I may have imbibed an excessive amount,
None was more harmed than my bank account.
But before unconscious, did I fall,
I honor my team, BALLS TO THE WALL
Schweddy Balls:
A shut-out win is always the best way to start a season! The Schweddy Balls (formerly Ginger Balls and Los Cojones) played equally well offensively and defensively, bringing home a 5-0 victory over Balls of Fury. The win was a full team effort, with exceptional play coming from rookies and veterans alike. Ridiculous Catch of the Game goes to rookie Doug for sprinting to nab a VERY foul ball, while MVP of the game goes to James for his awesome kicking prowess that was punctuated by a viciously executed home run. He also included a triple, 2 runs and 2 “RKIs”. We rock Hard & Schweddy; yep, that's how we rock! Our fearless captain has assembled what is sure to be hailed as the most personally gifted, physically attractive, and morally sound team in the history of team-assembly. In any sport; Ever! Our sheer ability is eclipsed only by our athletic prowess and that is only eclipsed, of course, by our strategic genius. If we were not so humble and modest, we would certainly be completely blinded by our own brilliance.
There is one simple question that each team the Schweddy Balls descend upon must answer: Are you ready to get Schweddy?
