My Dearest gLot;
I ask you to please, humbly accept my writing to you. I hope to shed some light on a situation so that if you encounter a similar play in your bright future, you look upon it with joy and humor rather than disgust and rage. I too found unbearable frustration with some of the rules set before me, but I am learning to accept them as opportunities for personal growth… even though there are a few that really chap my Uniballs. In the WAKA kickball rule book, there is NO infield fly rule. Why… here is my theory.
It’s too complicated:
In baseball or softball the infield fly rule is used when there are less than 2 outs and there are runners on base with a forced out in play. The infield fly rule is a judgment call by the umpire. If the umpire determines that a player can make the catch with ordinary effort, then he/she can apply the rule. After the ball is hit in the air, the umpire yells, "Infield fly, batter is out." If you don't hear the umpire yell that, it is assumed the rule doesn't apply. The rule is written to give the umpire the ability to determine whether to apply the rule or not. I have a hard time believing that anyone, aside from the few league members that eat Waka Rules in a bowl with soy milk in the morning, would actually call that in a game. The main question is: what’s an ordinary effort for kickball? Does ordinary effort take into consideration that it’s really hard to catch spinning balls, wet balls, Schweddy Balls, windswept balls, or for that matter, dry balls that are just kicked hard? What is considered the infield in kickball? What if an outfielder catches it? What if there is a Kickleback foul? What if the infielder is dancing to the glorious sounds of Chad’s boom box and doesn’t know it’s coming to them. What about a line drive, a bunt over the charger’s head or Balls Deep in the infield? The diversity of kicks makes it a very difficult call for a volunteer umpire, unless however, he or she just says 1stUCK it and calls everything kicked in the air and out. This leads to my second reason…
It would be called too much:
In your last game, how many balls were kicked in the air in the infield? 30%-40%-50%. Now how many of those were actually caught… maybe half. And out of those half that were not caught, how many of those Free Ballers were physically dropped because it’s freaking hard to catch a big mass of misdirectional rubber. With an infield fly rule, all of those dropped or missed balls would have been automatic outs. Half of the fun in being the kicker is the glimmer of hope you get in knowing you could get on base because they might not catch it. From “All American Soccer & Softball Sally” to “Scrapbooking Steve;” “Couch Queen Cheri” to “Hall of Fame Henry,” when a ball is kicked 30 feet in the air… who knows if they are going to catch it. There is always the guy who had too many brown bag Blue Mooners before the game that has no shot of catching himself falling let alone the Wrecking Balls heading right towards him. With an infield fly rule, you eliminate the opportunity for human error and take away any chance of the weaker kickers to get on base with a perfectly placed chip shot or high bunt. The infield fly rule would give too much of an advantage to the fielder… which brings me to my final point.
It is a heck of a lot easier to catch a ball than it is to not catch a ball and remain in control of it:
Next time you are throwing it around before a game, try NOT catching those warmup Balls of Fury and see where the ball goes. The ability to control a pop fly or line drive without catching it is a very advanced/lucky play and should be credited as such. If the player is quick and smart enough to make the appropriate play following the non catch, I say, well done you crazy bunch of Inglorious Ballstards.
To mirror The Closers of all time, I want to conclude in saying that I love your intense competitive nature, vivacious Balls To The Wall attitude, and your general light hearted spirit. Thank you for enhancing my kickball lifestyle.
Until we meet again,
James Guerin- “3b” 1UCK
